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So my heart does not have life,
no warmth or heat,
but there’s my passion that makes me complete.
Forget love and friendship,
they sway in the wind and weather.
There is no trust in kinship,
it’s like a broken feather,
no beauty –
no beauty that captivates me.

There is no heart in the world.
Apathy floods through the streets,
through the cities that feed my heart beats,
across continents, and through countries.
There are so few I have found with a mind.
Even if I cross the oceans and seas
there will be so few that are kind,
so few that would compassionately give –
so few that morally live.

There is no freedom in life.
Everyone lives with no zen.
Eventually we all will break down and give in.
It seems that no one has form or structure.
There is no peace or rest, only stress.
No one has a plan or future.
They’re all caught in a world decaying to less,
a world falling from hope –
a world falling down an ever steeper slope.
©2005-2009 ~3pieces-of-chaos
:icon3pieces-of-chaos:

Author's Comments

My most structured poem yet, and with the least amount of revision yet

It's a vague sense of my personal view

Comments


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:iconrejectedsoul999k:
wow......that is an amazing poem.....lol it sounds corny but it actually brought a tear to my eye 'cause i can totally....get what you're saying.....(or at least my interpretation of it made me think and....idk i think i understand your angle though)....awesome job....=D if i could favorite things (doesnt work for some reason) i would add this to favorites in a heartbeat...such an awesome poem...i love your work! :) you are so talented! lol....omg i am babbling like an idiot (lack of sleep is part of the reason...lol sorry...but at least it's good babble!) anyways.......*Hugs* awesome job ~K~ :euphoria:
:iconmoshqueen:
hey, well the word 'erratic' would work just fine...frankly i think it works better cuz of the line 'It seems that no one has form or structure', it emphasizes that point with the lack of rigid structural rhyme scheme so, hey, u did good! as always. shweet.

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.......and it's beautiful
:icon3pieces-of-chaos:
Thank you so muchly :hug: if I evoked emotion, then I did more than I set out to do :) thank you

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:devilish:
:icon3pieces-of-chaos:
hmm...well yes it's in a way loosely rhymed, but what I mean by structured is this:

Each stanza has nine lines, the first line does not have a rhyme, and it's used like a topic sentence in a paragraph. The second and third lines rhyme with each other. The fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh lines rhyme every other line. The eighth and nineth lines rhyme with each other, and elaborate on the seventh line...so...yeah, that's it, but your right it does have an erraticness to it. and hey, thank you :P

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:devilish:
:iconlarashka:
it's so true...there is so much truth in this but it's not presented in a harsh manner though it could easily have been done. It almost sounds indifferent but (hopefully!!) not completely apathetic where you've given up on it. I mean, you know the good people do exist...the genuine. We should start a cult and reform the globe...hmm....heh . I really like this because you've connected really well with your ideas and presented them, as you yourself said, in a structured way. Propz and thanks for writing something that touched, it's the best kind of writing :P

--
-Act on Impulse-

"No, it is impossible; it is impossible to convey the life-sensation of any given epoch of one's existence - that which makes its truth, its meaning - its subtle and penetrating essence. It is impossible. We live as we dream - alone."
:iconwithxxbrokenxxwings:
wow awesome work!

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:kiss: Life is not how many breaths we take, But how many times our breath gets taken away! :kiss:
:icon3pieces-of-chaos:
Thank you so incredibly much. You totally get it :glomp: :hug: ....there are good people in this world, and I know a few, but some times it seems that the world is filled with nothing but evil assholes and the worst reasons for living. And yes, I have at times given up hope in the world, but other times I don't. It comes and goes with what I hear about, but mostly it stays... :| *pensive*

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:devilish:
:iconlarashka:
argh YES we connect with this!!! awesome. the dispair is overwhelming and breaking my heart but yes, I have found 4 people here who are real and honest with me and true to what they believe in and I respect them so much for that and on top of that we've all developed such strong bonds and ...the VALUE.. need more of this because I'm surrounded by 5 times as much negativity. I'm afraid that if I live with these people though I'll go mad :P
We're the few that really matter I think. We may never be the politicians to lead and make it known and change anything and do anything to make the world better...but then again if we were such people we'd have to kill ourselves for self-hate :rofl:
ah, life...

--
-Act on Impulse-

"No, it is impossible; it is impossible to convey the life-sensation of any given epoch of one's existence - that which makes its truth, its meaning - its subtle and penetrating essence. It is impossible. We live as we dream - alone."

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April 18, 2005
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